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Trump: ‘Like my tariffs, this cannot backfire in any way’

PRESIDENT Trump has confirmed that, like his imposition of tariffs on the entire world, airstrikes on Iran cannot possibly have any negative consequences. 

The tariffs, which were imposed on Liberation Day and brought in virtually no money before being suspended across the board, were such a success the president decided that war with Iran was equally risk-free.

He said: “I’ve warned Iran not to retaliate, so they won’t. That’s how it worked out with tariffs.

“Apart from admittedly with China, where they raised tariffs, then I raised tariffs, then they raised tariffs, then I raised tariffs, then I decided they’d learned their lesson and dropped tariffs. But this isn’t like that, or it would involve retaliatory attacks on US targets.

“No, this is military action without consequences. There is literally no way a country that’s spent decades building international terror networks can hit back. They’re only backed by Russia and China.

“Just as those countries I imposed tariffs on were powerless to respond, apart from selling so many US bonds I unilaterally suspended all the tariffs, so Iran is powerless. They should change their regime. I should take charge.”

Benjamin Netanyahu said: “We have the backing of the US in this conflict. There is no way their leader will, when it gets difficult, get bored and wander off.”


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