With every season, comes a new trendy fashion item that retailers push as the must-have piece. But as we know, no trend is universally flattering.
Case and point, last year, when Free People, a specialty lifestyle brand for bohemian styled fashion, released its “micro shorts,” which, as you can probably guess, are teeny tiny. They might check off all the requirements for a pair of shorts…except, they appear to be about the length of underwear.
If you’re thinking “there’s no way those would look good,” you’re not wrong! And to prove that point, a couple of women bought some to try on so you don’t have to. The videos are not only honest but hilarious.
In one video Nicole Walters, a New York Times best selling author and mom to three girls, decided to order the shorts to see how they looked on someone with, “thigh meat.” She wears a size 12 and often jokes about being a curvier on the bottom. When she pulled the shorts out, it looked as if she was going to have to perform a magic trick to get them on. They looked to be the size a small child would wear, but they seemed to have gone on easily even though they looked extremely uncomfortable. She looked uncomfortable. The viewers likely looked uncomfortable.
“Oh wow. They’re in there and by in there I mean everywhere. There’s a lot of thigh meat happening right now in the, this region,” Walters says as she gestures at her upper thighs. “There’s some thigh meat, um…uh…I feel like they’re definitely in some places that I didn’t know I had.”
Walter’s review of the shorts has people in stitches as she jokes about her Christianity falling out of the shorts.
“It’s the Barbie walk for me lol!!! Thank you for your service,” one person says.
“The way you warn us that you’re going to turn around almost made me scream with laughter,” someone writes.
“I’m just going to go ahead and dial 911 for help bc looks like you may need the jaws of life to come out them shorts…lol!! Your commentary had me dying laughing..lol,” another commenter jokes.
In another Free People “micro shorts” try on video, Nicole Story Dent braved the itty bitty shorts to show her audience the summer trend they can look forward to seeing. The first pair of shorts has multiple flaps that appear to be large pockets which inspires Dent to pretend to fly in them before the discomfort sinks in.
“It’s kinda giving waitress…if they ever want to make a Waffle House-Hooters hybrid, we have their uniform, “she said. “We have been asking for more pockets so they delivered. Speaking of delivered, you could deliver a baby without having to take these shorts off.”
Dent guessed that the shorts would be more like “jundies” or “janties” than jorts, the shorthand term for jean shorts. Commenters couldn’t stop laughing at her description of the shorts while others provided her with words of wisdom.
“Do NOT drop it low in these jundies, that kind of contact with the club floor is NOT hygienic,” someone wrote.
“‘There is nothing vegan about these. There is absolutely a cat being harmed!’ I’m cackling! You really should win something from Free People for this! @freepeople we found your next model,” another person joked.
“This is the kind of content the internet was made for, it’s just so good. However my thighs started getting chafed just watching this,” added a third.
If you’re brave enough to give these micro shorts a try, go ahead and stock up on some baby powder for all the chaffing. However, it’s all about long Bermuda shorts this year. And since no one can keep up with fashion’s rapid pace anyway, why not just stick with what feels good?
This article originally appeared last year.
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