Playing Hardball [OC]

As a man of many manly attributes, one of my MANLIEST attributes is my tendency to keep things WELL beyond their useful life. In today’s episode of "Caption Nonsense", I will be covering the top 3 MOST run-into-the-ground things I own. 🎙️

First up is my wallet. But not just ANY wallet; this baby is one of those wallet-phone case HYBRIDS––like a Prius, except… not really. Anyway, I got this thing back in early 2022. Since then, the GREATEST sign of its age has been the decomposition of a small magnetic strap that USED to hold my wallet shut. Based on its appearance whenever it dangled, I affectionately denoted this thing my wallet’s “uvula”––until I tore it off completely.

Next up, we have the drawing tablet I’ve been using since 2018 to touch up my comics in Photoshop. The tablet itself still works GREAT, but the PEN is corrupted in such a way that it becomes HYPERSENSITIVE at random. The only known solution is to unplug and replug in the tablet every 3 minutes––which is a LOT less annoying when you think of it like changing gears in a manual transmission vehicle. Then it’s low-key fun. 🚙

Lastly, we have the electric razor I got on my SEVENTEENTH birthday in 2016. Above all else, I wanna give a shout-out to this thing for lasting me through 2.25 presidencies along with the ENTIRETY of my college (and young adult) career. That said, there’s a literal HOLE in the metal mesh covering the blades. The razor also came with a self-cleaning station that presently suffers from SEVERE incontinence whenever I swap out the cleaning cartridges (don’t ask).

I should probably mention that I already have replacements for ALL these items––some of which I got YEARS ago. However, I’m only JUST now starting to remove them from their packaging after having squeezed out the LAST ounce(s) of life from their predecessors. 🤌