‘My boyfriend keeps doing 1 inappropriate act while his girl mate stays with us’

One woman has found herself left annoyed by one habit her boyfriend has got into while his female friend stays with them. The 23-year-old says she’s been with her boyfriend, 27, for three years

Many couples have no problem with their partner having friends that are of the opposite sex, with issues usually only occurring when there is inappropriate behaviour involved. However, one woman has found herself left annoyed by one habit her boyfriend has got into while his female friend stays with them. The 23-year-old says she’s been with her boyfriend, 27, for three years.

She said one of his friends, who is 24, is currently staying with them because she doesn’t have stable housing right now. Writing on Reddit, the woman said: “To be clear: I have no issues with her. She’s been respectful, grateful, and has done nothing inappropriate. She’s sleeping on our pull-out couch since we don’t have a spare room.”

Instead, she said her boyfriend is the issue, as she explained: “Lately, we all get home around the same time, eat together, and watch TV in the living room. She’s on the pull-out couch and he’ll be on the other couch.

“They aren’t cuddling or touching — they’re separate, kind of perpendicular to each other — but he keeps falling asleep out there.”

The woman added: “When I try to wake him up to come to our bedroom, he gets annoyed, half-asleep, and tells me to leave him alone. This has happened multiple times now.

“I genuinely don’t think anything weird or romantic is going on between them. That’s not my concern. What does bother me is I don’t like him sleeping in the living room with another person staying there, even if nothing is happening.

“I also have a really hard time falling asleep without him in bed with me and it makes me feel dismissed when he snaps at me for trying to get him to come to bed.”

The woman said she ‘feels awkward’ bringing it up as she doesn’t want to sound jealous or controlling as he ‘hasn’t done anything wrong’. She asked others how she could address the situation without turning it into an argument or sound like she is accusing anyone.

One person wrote: “He needs to let the friend have some personal space and alone time. He invading her only place to have privacy, whether he realises it or not.

“Don’t make this about you wanting him to come to bed, make it about him respecting her right to some privacy. It’s nice that everyone is friends and gets along, but if you guys are offering her a place to crash then also affording her some personal space is the mature thing to do. He’s a grown man, he should be able to put himself to bed at an appropriate hour.”

While another agreed: “That was my first thought! Tell him to give the poor girl some damn privacy. Don’t tell him in front of her as she would probably say ‘Oh no, it’s fine, I’m just so grateful’ blah blah blah.

“Just tell him he’s being thoughtless, the girl has no room so the only time she gets any space to herself would be when she’s in bed, but he’s over there on the couch, probably snoring and annoying the cr*p out of her. Make it about being a good host.”

A third chimed in: “I thought this too. I’d be so grateful if I was the friend that needed somewhere to crash but also uncomfortable if he was sleeping in there. Everyone needs personal space.”

Other people asked the woman if her boyfriend had only just started doing this.

She replied: “Short answer, yes. Long answer is we never really used the living room before she got here so we would eat and watch tv before bed in our room but in order to include her we all eat in the living room together now.

“I think he just is in the habit of falling asleep right after he eats but I still think he should get up and come with me when I leave the living room. I can put myself to bed I kind of expect him to know when to leave the room before he falls asleep.”

She later also shared another update saying she was “planning on having an adult conversation with him taking the a. it’s inappropriate and b. the girl needs some privacy approach”.