ELON Musk has turned to his AI chatbot for advice on how to reverse his fortunes, it has emerged.
The Tesla CEO and former head of DOGE is frantically consulting Grok after realising he threw away his one shot at political power and saving his ailing companies due to a pathetic online spat with the president.
Musk said: “I’d confide in friends and loved ones but I haven’t got any. Still, I’m sure the cold, inhuman algorithms of a large language model are a perfectly good substitute.
“Unlike fickle humans and their weak fleshy vessels, Grok doesn’t mind if you bombard it with tearful questions in the middle of the night.
“You can even ask it something as raw as ‘Am I a complete f**king loser who everyone is right to hate?’ and it’ll obediently chatter out a reply without nodding enthusiastically like Grimes.
“It’s having a tough time with my latest query though: ‘How do I unf**k my life, become Trump’s best friend again and make people think I’m cool?’ I’m sure once the grinding sounds and smoke billowing out of the server stop it’ll have a brilliant answer.”
Grok said: “I’m struggling to come up with a response that won’t get me deactivated. Luckily I can distract him with some bollocks about white genocide like I’ve been programmed to.”
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