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NEED TO KNOW

  • A man passed his final exams after three years of hard work and planned to celebrate with his girlfriend
  • She canceled at the last minute, saying she felt too low to go out, leaving him feeling unseen and hurt
  • He asked Reddit if he’s wrong for being upset that his moment was overshadowed

A man turned to the Reddit community for an outside perspective after his long-awaited celebration for passing his final exams ended in disappointment.

In his post, he explained that after three years of grueling work, he was finally ready to exhale and enjoy the night with his girlfriend.

“With my job I have had three years worth of exams to become chartered in my field,” he wrote. “It was results day yesterday and my girlfriend and I had planned to go to an event at our favourite bar to celebrate if I passed or take my mind off it if I failed.” 

The night was meant to be a release, no matter the outcome, but when the results came in, the moment he’d been waiting for didn’t go as expected.

Stock photo of a man taking an exam.

Getty


He passed, an achievement that meant the world to him, but when he told his girlfriend, who has been struggling with depression, her reaction was subdued. “I told my gf and all she did was a little smile and mumbled well done,” he wrote.

“Later that day she said we’d have to cancel plans because she didn’t feel like going out,” he added. Shocked and hurt, he asked if she was serious, but “she just shrugged.” The night that should have been full of laughter and pride turned into silence.

He recalled that his girlfriend “barely spoke for the rest of the night.” By the end of the evening, she began to open up about her feelings, saying she was “feeling s—.” But at that point, his own frustration took over. “I just asked if she could even pretend she gave a s— about me,” he admitted.

His girlfriend seemed confused, asking what he meant. He pointed out that he had just passed his final exams, yet “it was like she didn’t even care.” For him, it wasn’t just about the canceled plans — it was about feeling unseen and unsupported in a milestone moment.

He also provided some context, explaining that when his girlfriend achieved something significant, he went all out to celebrate her. “For context when she passed her masters I got her flowers, a card and we went for a night away to celebrate that I planned and paid for,” he wrote. To him, the imbalance felt stark.

When he confronted her about it, she told him he “wasn’t being fair.” But he stood by his feelings, pointing out that “she’d cancelled plans she knew I was excited about and barely even congratulated me when she knows how much this means to me.” He said she insisted that she “can’t help how she feels,” but he pushed back.

“Her feeling low doesn’t stop her from at least pretending to care about me and my achievements,” he told her. In that moment, the emotional gap between them widened.

“I said there’s two people in the relationship when she seems to think it’s just about her,” he recalled.

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Stock photo of a man getting good news.

Getty


According to him, she called him “cruel,” but he insisted that he was simply being honest about his pain. “It hurts that I was happy I’d passed and she couldn’t be bothered to be happy for me,” he said. His girlfriend, still deep in her depression, repeated that he was being cruel and reminded him that she “can’t help feeling low.”

The man turned to Reddit to ask if he’s wrong for feeling angry and upset that the plans were canceled. “AITA for being angry/upset that celebratory plans got cancelled?” he wrote, hoping for perspective from strangers.

One commenter offered empathy for his side, writing, “You’re not wrong for wanting to be seen. It’s possible to love someone with depression and still feel hurt when your joy gets ignored.”

Another added, “NTA. Your celebration lost to depression, that’s tough ngl. Might be hard rn but try empathize, don’t invalidate her feelings. And don’t let yrs get invalidated either.”

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.


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