WASHINGTON—As part of ongoing efforts to improve the efficiency with which it collects money for the world’s richest man, officials at the Internal Revenue Service announced a new plan Tuesday allowing taxpayers to deposit payments directly into Elon Musk’s bank account.
The mandatory new service will reportedly help streamline the tax payment process, bypassing the government entities that traditionally pay Musk—the departments of Defense, Energy, and Transportation, as well as NASA—and instead transferring the funds directly into his checking account. According to the IRS, the updated system will reduce the time it takes for the Tesla and SpaceX CEO to receive taxpayer dollars from a few months to just a few hours.
“We’ve upgraded the user experience of our website, creating a fast, easy, and secure way for Americans to fulfill their tax obligation to Elon Musk,” said acting IRS commissioner Melanie Krause, adding that the payment hub would also provide more transparency into how the U.S. tax code personally enriches Musk. “This long overdue change modernizes how we divert revenue away from vital services, optimizing Mr. Musk’s ability to collect your hard-earned money.”
“It completely eliminates the outdated system of government loans, subsidies, grants, tax credits, tax rebates, and reimbursements he has used to amass wealth over the past two decades,” Krause continued. “Now taxpayers can go to IRS.gov and, with a few simple clicks, make a direct deposit that immediately increases Elon Musk’s net worth.”
Confirming the new approach minimizes inefficiency by transferring money straight to Musk instead of through the maze of federal agencies that currently pay him, White House officials said the overhaul would open more loopholes for his companies to exploit and would add to the tens of billions of dollars the government has already contributed to his personal fortune. They described plans to continue cutting through burdensome red tape with the ultimate goal of circumventing the congressional appropriations process entirely.
According to the IRS, enforcement measures have been put in place to make sure all low- and middle-income Americans pay their fair share, and in the coming weeks, workers who have taxes withheld by their employer can expect to see a new line item on their pay stubs that replaces entries such as Social Security and Medicare with one that just says “Musk.”
“I was initially worried about using an online portal to send 20% of my income to Elon Musk, but the IRS website is pretty straightforward,” said Keith Fairfax, an auto mechanic in Knoxville, TN who told reporters he liked how the system offered real-time tracking of his payments as they were being funneled to the billionaire. “It’s nice to see where my hard-earned money is going, whether I’m helping Elon buy a new mansion, putting fuel in the tank of his private jet, or providing for his 13 known children.”
“But what I like most is when he threatens to use my tax dollars to fund primary challengers for any Republican who opposes Trump’s agenda,” he added. “That’s when I know my money is really making a difference.”
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