Some new homeowners receive welcome pies and neighborly waves, others get a ringside seat to suburban chaos, courtesy of the rental family next door. In this particular case, the unlucky buyer discovered their fresh start was actually a front-row viewing of the local demolition derby, featuring two parents with zero employment and nine unsupervised children on a permanent sugar high.
The father’s day job appears to be blocking driveways with his party-circuit car collection while perfecting the art of outdoor drinking. The mother is rarely sighted, presumably fleeing the scene or hiding from her own offspring. Meanwhile, the weekly house party turns the street into a parking lot and sleep into a fantasy, as music rattles windows into the pre-dawn hours. If garbage pickup day ever comes, the neighbors will be ready, since most trash conveniently lands in someone else’s yard anyway.
Children, left to their own creative devices, have transformed the stone wall and flower beds into a boulder obstacle course, extracted paving stones for sport, and adopted a neighbor’s driveway as the ideal basketball court. Peaceful homeownership, this is not. What began as optimism now looks like a crash course in property regret, canine anxiety, and the fine art of searching “how to break a lease on a house you actually own.”
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