Guys – you’ll never fucking guess

Hello, fellow CasualUK users. It is I, the person from last year who had pigeons lay eggs on my balcony – not once – but twice. Well, THE FUCKERS HAVE LAID ANOTHER EGG!!! A THIRD TIME!!!!!!

I put up mesh over the railings on the balcony to block them out. They flew at it until it loosened at the tops and bottoms and forced their way through, anyway. I bought a bird of prey ornament specifically for deterring birds. The fuckers made friends with it and started chilling next to it IMMEDIATELY after it was put down. I’ve been spraying the areas of my balcony down that they go to the most with white vinegar because birds aren’t supposed to like the smell of it, and it’s natural and non-toxic. THEY DON’T CARE – THEY LIKE IT. I put a piece of cardboard over the dustpan and brush I keep outside as we noticed they’d started putting twigs in it to start making a nest, and then put the big, fuck off outdoor wooden sweeping brush over the top of it to weigh it down and get in their way. THEY MOVED THE SWEEPING BRUSH AND USED THE CARDBOARD AS A PRIVACY SCREEN TO SHAG AND LAY AN EGG UNDER

This means war, apparently. Is it possible to get a restraining order for emotional and mental distress? 😭 they’re killing me