ex wife pep talk

substack I instagram I bluesky

no one gives better relationship advice than my ex wife. i am very grateful that we still get along. it’s why we’ve been able to cohabitate for as long as we have. neither of us wants to split up the family. we love the family more than we do each other, so we’ve maintained a very amicable if not professional relationship where we divide responsibilities as well as the household itself.

yes, at some point i probably have to get a place of my own, and that’s a very expensive, emotionally charged decision that i am both avoiding and pragmatically putting on the back burner. practically speaking it makes sense to try and continue this dynamic for as long as we can. we each have our own spaces in the house, i get to see the kids every day, and we save a ton of money. but emotionally speaking i don’t know how healthy this is for either of us and i worry about the effects it has on our kids.

it’s hard to know if my relationship with stephanie is keeping me stuck, or giving me the motivation i need to move out. for the record, i do currently have a small studio where she can visit, but it’s basically just a big office space with a bed and shower where i keep my computer and instruments. it’s not the most hospitable and i’m not technically allowed to sleep there (even though i do sometimes.)

but she’s not asking for me anything. she has made it very clear that we are just friends who see each other when we can, so it’s not like having my own place is necessary for us to continue this relationship. and angela isn’t asking me to move out so it’s really all on me to decide what i want to do and when.

hence…i am writing about all of it. that’s all i can think to do. it is too overwhelming and daunting and i would rather focus on making some artistic traction while i have some semblance of stability instead of upending everything in my life once again in a frantic fit of impulsivity.