TINDER has rolled out a seasonal desperation mode to connect users who are anxious to get laid by the first of January.
The new feature, which preys on the sadness of singletons as they fend off probing questions from their relatives, aims to help even the ugliest of people get their end away before New Year’s Eve.
Tinder CEO Joanna Kramer said: “A dog isn’t just for Christmas, but a shameful shag is. ‘Tis the season to lower your expectations.
“Upon activating the seasonal desperation mode, people will be given access to the vast pool of users who are prepared to compromise their standards for a quick f**k. So it’s just like normal Tinder but even worse. If you can imagine.
“Your radius for potential matches will be limited to a few metres for ease of hooking up, and your bio will junk all of that bullshit about being interested in movies or rock climbing or whatever. Instead it’ll just read ‘need sex now’ in bold capitals.
“Admittedly, yes, each swipe right will cost you £19.99. It’s a small price to pay for ending your dry spell, though, so we’re confident you’ll cough up.”
Tinder user Wayne Hayes said: “I hope I don’t get catfished by a lovely hottie. I signed up for desperate, unlovable freaks, so that’s what I expect to get.”
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