THE British Broadcasting Corporation, Glastonbury Festival and Keir Starmer’s government must all be permanently dissolved because of what a punk band said.
Work has already begun on breaking up and selling off the BBC, seizing the Eavis family’s land and interning them for life, and the mass resignation of all Labour MPs who due to their anti-Semitic inaction allowed this outrage to happen.
Shadow home secretary Robert Jenrick said: “Not only did this take place, it was livestreamed. That makes it worse than 10,000 9-11s.
“I have pre-emptively authorised planning permission for a major cement works to be built on Pilton Farm so this can never happen again, but it’s not enough.
“The BBC must go and its archives burned so nobody can ever be reminded of its existence. Everyone who ever worked there will be deported.
“Nor are the attendees of Glastonbury innocent. Mandatory ten-year sentences. Also, I believe it safer if all music is banned from now on, along with dancing, the free expression of political views, and leaving your home.
“Finally I believe we should break up the United Kingdom, separate the countries physically and sink them, and their inhabitants, into the sea. It’s the only way to be sure.”
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