Free childcare is nothing to take lightly. It’s worth enough to the point that most couples have to seriously consider one spouse staying home since the cost of childcare, so they could return to work, would nearly eclipse their earnings anyway.
As it is, childcare is an underappreciated and undervalued form of labor, and people like to make light of it despite the fact that they’re in desperate need of it or don’t want to do it themselves. It’s one of those things where it’s a big deal when you have to do it, but not a big deal when you’re trying to have someone do it for you. When someone provides free childcare, even casually or occasionally, they’re donating something of real value to you, and that’s something that needs to be handled respectfully.
Friendships can survive anything, but also can be left on the cutting room floor over 1000 small cuts. It generally comes down to respect and mutual investment.
Ditching your kids off with someone unannounced and not doing the proper setup and planning to make sure that things are easy for the person watching them are two things that aren’t showing respect, and it’s no surprise that this friend felt the need to draw a hard line in the sand and set boundaries where there were clearly none being followed or recognized.
As with almost anything, before long, it’s only a matter of time before favor becomes an expectation. Whereas she had originally offered to look after the kids, she found that her friend was relying on her more and more for childcare, almost as if she was taking advantage of her love for the children.
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