Floyd’s a special one… [OC]

Okay, ONE more caption about “Christmas in July”––and then we can move on…

Back in 2023, I was wearing my Santa hat to celebrate, well, “Christmas in July”. One day in July, I walked inside an auto shop to pick up my car after an oil change. There was an older gentleman ahead of me in line––and when he saw my hat, he jokingly asked: “Is it Christmas?”

Of course, I said: “No, but also yes”, and then––with the straightest face I could muster––asked this guy if he was aware that “68% of all Americans own at least ONE (1) Santa hat.” In response, he stared at the floor in a contemplative manner and––a moment later––asked in earnest: “Is that so?” I then told him: “No, I literally just made that up”. We then proceeded to share a hearty laugh.

Later that day, I drove to my friend’s house to prepare for a night on the town. My friend still needed to shower, though, so I occupied myself during this time by petting his morbidly obese cat. Like seriously, this thing is the size of MULTIPLE Garfields. He’s also VERY calm and affectionate, meaning that I was COMPLETELY caught off guard when my friend’s dad suddenly BURST through the back door in a frenzy.

As it turned out, Mr. [Redacted] saw a strange figure wearing a Santa hat on his indoor security system––and didn’t recognize it was me. He apparently tried screaming expletives at me through the intercom, but I didn’t hear a thing. He also tried calling my friend, but my buddy was still bathing. Convinced I was some off-season Grinch attempting to loot his home, he then booked it back to the house to take me down himself. Fortunately, my friend’s dad was not armed.

The moral of the story is that wearing a Santa hat is evidently a divisive gesture that can amuse SOME but THREATEN others. So stay safe out there this holiday season. 🎅