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Choosing the perfect gift for a friend isn’t always easy. Even if you know all of their interests and hobbies, it can be challenging to find an item that immediately makes you think of them. Should you gift an experience or something edible? Would they prefer something for their home or something they can wear? The possibilities are endless!

At the end of the day, it’s the thought that counts, right? But when one woman received non-vegan presents from a colleague three years in a row, she began to wonder if any thought was put into her gifts at all. Below, you’ll find the full story that was posted on Ask a Manager, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

Holiday gift exchanges can be a fun way to strengthen relationships between colleagues

Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)

But when a vegan woman received presents with animal products three years in a row, she began to wonder if it was being done intentionally

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Image credits: krakenimages.com (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Alison Green

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Image credits: yanalya (not the actual photo)

Later, the author shared an update on the office drama

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Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Alison Green

The majority of workplaces have some sort of gift exchange around the holidays

Depending on how close you are with your coworkers, you might look forward to your office’s Secret Santa all year long, or you might dread the day that you have to buy a present for a colleague. 

It can be awkward and uncomfortable, especially if you don’t know the person you’re buying a present for very well. Plus, you might want to make sure that, if you’re spending money on someone else, you’ll get a nice gift in return too.

According to a survey from The Business Journals, about 70% of workplaces have some sort of holiday gift giving tradition. This might include Secret Santa, White Elephant or simply bringing a gift for everyone in the office. But before participating in any of these events, it’s important to be familiar with the ethics of workplace gift giving.

Chris Brennan at Insperity warns that giving presents in the workplace must remain professional. It’s usually not a good idea to give gifts to your superiors, and you should never pull out a present right before a performance review. If there will be a gift exchange, there should be a clear spending limit for everyone to observe.

And if anyone doesn’t want to participate in the festivities, they shouldn’t feel any pressure to. Whether they simply don’t want to or they’re struggling to afford presents this year, it’s not anyone else’s business. 

If you do plan on giving holiday gifts in your office, though, it’s best to make sure that everyone feels included. Try to find presents that suit each person’s interests and show that you actually care about them. 

It’s important to be respectful and professional when buying presents for colleagues

And of course, be respectful of the colleague’s lifestyle. If they’ve been sober for 10 years, you should probably not give them a bottle of champagne. If they’re Muslim, make sure you don’t give them pork sausage. And if they’re vegan, save that leather collar for someone else.

When it comes to picking an appropriate present, Prime Office Space recommends giving gifts that aren’t material items. A gift card to a spa that covers a massage and a facial might be incredibly relaxing. Or if your coworker loves indoor rock climbing, you might be able to pay for their membership to a local gym for a month. There are plenty of ways to show someone you care without handing them an item that they’ll have to find a place for at home.

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In this particular story, the author believed that Marie truly had good intentions and simply just didn’t understand what being vegan meant. 

To clarify the definition, it’s a way of life that aims to “exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment.”

But after one year of a gifting faux pas, she certainly could have educated herself and prevented this from ever happening again. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think these non-vegan gifts were given intentionally? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.

The author responded to several readers and shared more details in an attempt to defend Marie

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Readers couldn’t believe that the same mistake was made three times, and many blamed Marie for failing to educate herself

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