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Charm of child on Zoom call rapidly dissipating

THE novelty of a toddler interrupting a professional Zoom call is waning fast, all participants confirmed.

Despite having initially charmed attendees with his youthful antics, the accidental presence of three-year-old Jack Browne during a remote work call is quickly becoming a source of irritation among everyone who has dialled in.

Meeting host Joanna Kramer said: “Sure, we all cooed at Jack like we’d just seen a baby otter when he first came romping in. We may be corporate ghouls but we’re not heartless monsters.

“His routine needs work though. Bursting in to smash a Jaffa Cake over his mum’s face was a solid opener, but then he descended into tedious gurglings about bums and farts. You should always leave us wanting more, kid.”

Colleague Martin Bishop said: “As soon as I realised we were never going to go viral with Jack showing us his dinosaur toys and demonstrating how they would poop, I began to lose interest. You can only get away with sabotaging a Q2 sales report if you can secure us top billing on the BuzzFeed homepage.

“Credit where it’s due though, throwing Lego bricks at the webcam and screaming ‘I hate spreadsheets’ was the first honest contribution we’ve had in months.”

Browne’s mum Nikki said: “I really thought endless deafening shrieks would be a crowd-pleaser. But at least we’ve got notes to work with for next time.”


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