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NEED TO KNOW

  • A Mumsnet user is worried that her mom is going to give a large loan — amounting to “all her life savings” — to her partner of six years to buy them a new house
  • “I’m concerned because he won’t marry her … He won’t put her on the deeds. He’s never shared a will even,” she explained
  • Mumsnet users validated her concerns: “Red flags everywhere”

A significant loan request isn’t making any sense for one daughter.

The woman explained on the community forum Mumsnet that her mom’s partner of six years is requesting a large loan — amounting to all of her mom’s “life savings” — to buy them a new house. 

“I’m worried even though on paper it’s a short-term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold,” she admitted, before describing how her mom feels. “She’s worried but she also trusts him.”

“To be fair, he’s a nice guy, he’s got two adult children, and my mom has two. They also share one child together, my brother,” she added. “She lives in his house now, but it’s quite small, so he wants to buy a slightly larger house for the family to visit, and he will be a grandfather soon.”

A mom and a daughter in a disagreement (stock image).

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The daughter then laid out reasons why she’s worried for her mom.

“I’m concerned because he won’t marry her — he said it’s too complicated with his adult children, work shares and a family trust,” she wrote, adding, “He won’t put her on the deeds. He’s never shared a will even.”

“My mom puts up with this because she’s still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems. That’s her fail-safe,” she continued. “He would be borrowing this money only on a short loan, but she’s worried as am I if something random happens to him. How could she get it back?”

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A couple in a heated discussion (stock image).

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Mumsnet users validated their concerns — with 98% of the nearly 1,500 people voting in a poll choosing “You are being NOT unreasonable.” 

“WTF no! It would be mad to do this for all sorts of reasons,” one person replied, with another urging legal caution by commenting, “If she feels inclined to do it she would need to take legal advice and get a watertight contract drawn up and signed before a penny is handed over.”

A third reader simply responded, “Just no. Red flags everywhere.”


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