A TEENAGER bragging that he is basically being paid to check out some cool bands is about to enter his own personal hell.
Josh Hudson, aged 18, is looking forward to sets by Green Day and Bullet For My Valentine while working Download this weekend, unaware that while they perform he will be mopping up vomit and fighting off drunks with the mop.
He told friends: “I’ll probably do some light shifts behind the bar early in the day, so come by and I’ll hook you up with free drinks. Who’s going to check?
“Then in the evenings I’ll f**k it off and see the bands. Probably get to hang out and get high with them in the dressing room afterwards, because I’ll have an Access All Areas pass. I’ll see if I can get you guys in.
“Yeah, this is going to be a solidly chill event. Why you suckers paid for tickets I’ll never know. I’m making on this deal.”
Hudson will spend the next three days without access to phone or shower mopping vomit and urine, picking litter and being called a ‘pezzy prick’ by bikers, with only six-hour breaks to sleep and digest his meals of protein bars and Prime.
He will leave at 4am on Monday a broken man, new trainers caked in mud and excrement, haunted by what he can never forget about humanity at its worst and himself.
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