‘My toddler is superior as she doesn’t need a screen to behave at restaurants’

A mum admitted that she’s “smug” about the fact that her toddler doesn’t need screentime in restaurants, saying she can’t help but judge other parents for allowing their kids to have screens

Sometimes, parents will just hand their phone or an iPad to their kid during a meal to placate them and avoid an impending tantrum. It can make life easier, but some people are quite judgmental of them, labelling these children “iPad kids” and wondering how they can’t make it through a meal without an episode of Peppa Pig.

But one mum admitted she’s “really smug” about the way her toddler behaves in restaurants compared to other people’s children. She did share that she tries not to “be judgy” about parents, because it’s a really tough job, but one part of life she can’t help being judgmental about is restaurant behaviour.

“The one area where I just cannot keep myself from being judgmental and smug is when my 3-year-old has much better restaurant etiquette compared to older children,” she admitted on Reddit’s ‘confession’ thread.

The mum continued: “Whenever I see a kid using an iPad in a restaurant, my gut reaction is judgment and feeling so smug that my much younger child can sit through a meal without needing constant stimulation.

“We used to bring activities like small toys or colouring books, but now she will just quietly sit and talk to us at the table. Obviously, you can’t do much when the kids are under 2, but I see so many older and school-aged kids who seriously can’t go 15 minutes without an iPad?!

“And I know I should judge, and I try to tell myself over and over that I don’t know the situation….but my confession is that I secretly think you’re failing as a parent if you need to use screens the entire meal.

“The food and the company IS the entertainment. I’d never say it out loud to anyone, and I have friends who do the iPad that think they have valid justifications, but…restaurant etiquette and behaving in public is a *learned* skill, and they’re just choosing to opt out of it, and it’s really, really lazy”.

In the comments, someone wrote: “We were just at Disney and saw a mom with her maybe 10-year-old kid at Ohana breakfast at the Polynesian resort ($$$).

“Kid on a tablet the ENTIRE time and no other adults, so no social interaction at all for either of them, except when she grabbed the tablet out of his hands for character pics when they came around. I’m sure her Instagram told a different story. It just made me sad for all of them”.

Another mum agreed, saying: “I’m with you, my 10 and 7 year olds have never been given devices in restaurants, or waiting rooms, or watching the other one do their swimming, gymnastics etc. Kids need to learn patience and waiting. And it’s not an easy thing to teach them and stay consistent on (and my oldest has ADHD), so you should be proud of yourself.

“And yes, I am judgy about parents who haven’t pushed through on this one, because you’re depriving them of a life skill that is your responsibility to teach them. They’re not going to turn down an iPad if offered, they’re not going to potty train themselves, they’re probably not going to learn to love a variety of vegetables and healthy foods without your input – so sort it out, parents, this is literally our job!”

Someone else said something they can’t stand more than devices is kids running around restaurants. They fumed: “But I will also say that the thing that bothers me so much more than iPads and activities is when the parents allow the children (age 3-12) to literally RUN around the restaurant or other public place as if they were on a playground! THAT I cannot bear! If unruly behaviour is the only other alternative to a device, I appreciate the device”.

However, a Redditor tried to understand that some kids may need entertaining in this way, sharing: “I realise that some parents are just tired, and some kids also have disabilities that really require a screen just so parents can have a break. I feel really bad for those parents, they are trying their best”.

A mum of a disabled child thanked her for understanding, saying: “You get it. Thank you. My son spends HOURS in therapies each week to participate in public.

“From the time he gets home from school to bedtime, we have a behavioural technician teaching life skills and coping skills. He still acts like the Tasmanian devil in public because his nervous system is PANICKING and trying to leave the environment in any way he’s capable.

“The world becomes small and isolating, especially when you can’t leave your house. And then when you do try to enjoy an outing with your family, people glare and heavily suggest you shouldn’t be out in public with your disabled child in the first place, and then when you happen to have something on hand to help the tenor of the outing not disturb so many people, they then make posts like this judging you any way. We can’t win”.

And a single mum defended iPads, saying: “As a single parent with a kiddo who needs a lot of support, my kids have tablets at restaurants because that is the only time I get to socialise with other adults. I’ve worked hard to have the tablet be a special treat so they are occupied with it on the rare times we go out”.