Etiquette expert visits Wetherspoons for first time and issues brutal 3-word verdict

Famed etiquette expert William Hanson stepped inside his first ever Wetherspoons recently and shared an honest verdict, along with a brutal three-word response about his next visit

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably been to Wetherspoons at least once in your life. It’s cheap and cheerful, offers decent food, and where else can you get a bottle of prosecco out and about for less than £20?

If you take it for what it is, it’s a great place to visit. And that’s exactly what William Hanson did when he went into Wetherspoons to “see what the fuss is about”. At the end of his review, he shared his honest verdict about the chain, along with some thoughts which might genuinely shock you more than the fact that he visited in the first place.

On Facebook, he asked: “Do you enjoy a trip to your local Wetherspoons?” as he cleaned the table with a wet wipe before his food and drink were delivered.

He joked there was “an entire forest of menus” on the table, continuing: “Now I’m told that every meal comes with a free drink, which is just as well, because I think I might need it.”

William explained what most Wetherspoons-goers will already know – that you can order at the bar or on the app. He did say, however, the bar was “further away than the lavatories”, so he opted for the app.

The expert then shared a few strange goings on, saying the waiter had insinuated he was “butch” for having a beer, despite the fact he was “wearing pink”.

He also shared the woman on the table next to him randomly “plonked” a radar key down on the table in front of him for no apparent reason. A radar key unlocks the disabled toilets.

The food for the table then came, and William said he “opted for one of their small plates”, joking: “I think this is a mistranslation for a sea of beige.” However, it was clearly a sea of beige he enjoyed, as he completely polished it off.

But when it came to whether he’d pay another visit, William issued a sarcastic, yet brutal three-word remark.

He said: “To be fair, look, we’ve eaten all the food, it was delicious actually, freshly microwaved. Maybe I’ll come back soon. Fat f****** chance.”

In the comments, people said he’d been “hilarious but still polite”. A woman wrote: “Acknowledging that the food is actually pretty decent for the price shows you won’t compromise excellent manners for a laugh at someone else’s expense. Everything we love about you. From a regular ‘Spoons girl’.”

A second said: “Admittedly, they won’t bring the wine list out to you, but it’s a decent time out. Even more so if you’re lucky enough to be in a converted building. Give yourself a night in there, and you’ll change your mind!”

Meanwhile a third asked: “I go to my local one most days. Delicious avocado muffin and coffee for breakfast, or any of their tasty vegan options for a lunchtime meal. Competitively priced, it offers cheap and cheerful. What’s not to like?”

A fourth penned: “Wetherspoons is good value and is great for breakfast. Full of pensioners on a budget at lunchtime. Not everyone has an expenses account. Not gourmet, but it doesn’t pretend to be.”

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