Not all friendships are bound to last forever. Sometimes, you must make a difficult yet necessary decision to sever ties with people you once happily considered comrades and confidantes.
It was a harsh, sobering realization that came to the author of today’s story. After learning about the manipulative tactics and ulterior motives of two people he was once close with, he immediately cut them off without hesitation. And he couldn’t have been any happier.
You will find the entire text below, along with some reader comments.
Some friendships aren’t meant to last
Image credits: BGStock72/Envato (not the actual photo)
A man was being set up to date one of her mom’s friends, an idea that his friends disapproved of
Image credits: ChaffChampion
As it turned out, they were manipulating him into getting back with an ex-girlfriend
Image credits: Albertshakirov/Envato (not the actual photo)
He later decided to cut them off
The author has so far been happy with his decision, as he enjoys his new relationship
Image credits: ChaffChampion
Betrayal is a good enough reason to end a friendship
The author likely felt betrayed after learning about the manipulative tactics of the two people he thought were his good friends. With betrayal comes the dissolution of trust and a good enough reason to sever ties.
As clinical psychologist and speaker Dr. Ariana Brandolini points out, trust is the foundation of healthy friendships that are difficult to repair when broken.
Some experts may argue that “minor betrayals” like white lies or breaking small promises may be forgivable. According to Austin-based therapist Melody Li, the offending person may deserve a chance if they show genuine remorse.
However, a breach of trust caused by manipulation and deception is what Dr. Brandolini describes as a “gross betrayal.” In such cases, ending the friendship would be a healthy move.
“If they’re able to do this horrible thing to you in the first place, they probably don’t have your best interests in mind,” Dr. Brandolini wrote in an article for Forbes.
Ending a friendship should be done with respect and tact
Animosity and hostility are two avoidable headaches you would want when ending a friendship. This is why experts urge doing so respectfully, regardless of the reason for the break-up.
Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, has worked with relationship and trauma survivors. In her article Choosing Therapy, one of her top pieces of advice is to have a mature and sensible conversation with the individuals in question.
During that talk, Gillis advises going straight to the point.
“Sometimes being direct and forthcoming helps prevent avoidance or passive-aggressive behaviors and is often the fairest to the other person,” she wrote, adding that people can end friendships amicably.
There is also the gradual fade-out approach, which lets the friendship fizzle out by gradually limiting interactions. As mental health expert Arlin Cuncic, MA, explains in an article for Very Well Mind, it is like taking stitches out of a garment instead of tearing it apart.
As Cuncic points out, this strategy prevents anyone from feeling hurt. She deems it a more effective strategy for dealing with a toxic individual.
In his story, the author chose the direct approach. As he stated, there was “no big fun drama,” which worked out well for him.
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