Woman Says Her Friend Is Pushing to Find Out Her Budget for a House

A woman who is buying a house is fed up with a friend asking questions about her personal finances.

Venting on the UK-based online forum Mumsnet, the woman said she hasn’t found the perfect property yet, but will be receiving help to purchase it. She admitted to being annoyed that a friend has been asking about her salary, budget and the features she’s looking for in a home since she found out about her plans to buy a house.

“I know that she wants to buy a house with her partner, but I don’t know her salary, where they are looking, what their budget is and she’s keeping it all close to her chest,” the woman said of her friend. “Fine, but then why push me?”

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The woman revealed that another friend “randomly volunteered” details of their home purchase, including how much they spent, seemingly expecting that she would do the same.

“I mentioned to first friend and she said, ‘Oh yes, I like it when people are open about things, it’s so much nicer isn’t it than being secretive.’ ” the woman recalled. “I smiled and said ‘Yes, that’s true, but I guess it’s hard when you’re in the middle of it and still looking,’ – said I thought my other friend could now be more open, given they were out the other side.”

“Am I being oversensitive, or would others be annoyed about this, too? It seems like a double standard, a bit,” she said.

Responses to the post were torn with several people saying they are open about their finances with friends, while others argued the woman is entitled to keep personal information private.

“YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] not to want to discuss financial matters with friends, resist your friend’s enquiries and be irritated by the dig,” one person wrote. “That’s not ‘secretive’. It was inconsistent of you, though, to gossip with the friend about your other friend’s finances.”

Another commented, “I wouldn’t share the ins and outs of my business with anyone, whether I’m in the middle of it or have completed it. It’s no one else’s business but mine.”

“I don’t think it’s a sign of close friendship to be secretive,” a third commented. “Funny how you don’t mind gossiping about other people’s financials. But you clearly understand the triggers for her ‘digs’ and you seem quite smug about how much better off you are, so if you have any kind of care for her, just forgive it and move on.”