We’ve all come across that special someone who can sail through any social situation with ease and grace. They somehow have people eating out of the palm of their hand, without even having to say a word. It’s almost like they’re using magic. But they aren’t.
These highly skilled individuals have a secret strategy. A stash of social “cheat codes” that allows them to subtlety win friends and influence people. These little tricks are the key to success when it comes to succeeding in social situations. They aren’t manipulations or mind games. Think of them as upgrades that anyone can learn and use.
Someone recently asked, “What’s a social cheat code you learned from just observing people?” and thankfully, netizens didn’t hold back. They shared all the tried-and-tested hacks that keep them cool, calm and collected, even during the most chaotic encounters. Some are simple, others take practice. All can have a surprisingly powerful impact.
Bored Panda has put together a list of the best answers for anyone who wants to level up in this game called life. So whether you’re trying to land a job, diffuse an argument, connect with someone new, or just make your everyday interactions less awkward and more effective, keep scrolling. And don’t forget to upvote your favorites.
– Control the room by listening more than you speak. silence is power most people can’t handle.
– Win people over by remembering the small things they thought you’d forget.
– People love talking about themselves, ask the right questions and they’ll think you’re the most interesting person in the room.
Unless you’ve resigned yourself to a life of solitude on some remote island, you will have to interact with people at one point or another. Whether you like it or not. And we fully understand if you don’t. No judgies.
Some of our social interactions are with friends, family or colleagues. Others are with strangers. And for many of us, these can be the most awkward. This, according the High Existence site, is because our brain is trying to protect us from exposure.
The trick here is to fake it until you make it. Assuming comfort in any social interaction is one of the most powerful things you can do.
“Commanding your brain to feel that you already know the person you are about to meet puts you in a position of advantage,” explains the site. “It increases the chances of people showing interest in you and consequently even liking you.”
I’ve learned it’s surprisingly easy to redirect or disarm people once you figure out what they care about. One well-placed question about something they’re passionate about, and suddenly the tension’s gone, and you’ve got them talking for an hour. People just want to feel seen, and when you give them that, doors open.
A few answers on this listicle mentioned silence as a secret weapon when it comes to social interactions. “Control the room by listening more than you speak,” wrote one person. “Silence is power most people can’t handle.”
While another added that silence makes people uncomfortable. “You’ll learn more by saying less. Control the tempo of a conversation with your pauses. Silence is dominance in disguise,” they said. “Master this and you’ll own every room you walk into.”
It’s a sentiment echoed by the experts…
“Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important conversation is one of the most annoying things to do,” warns the Higher Existence team. “It shows that you have zero knowledge of social dynamics which will lead to unpleasant social situations.”
Maybe this counts – at work, I try to say hi to everyone I see. It’s that simple. When I walk through my work, I tend to know people on each floor because of these small interactions that grew into positive regard for one another. I say hi to every house keeper (actually I’m close with a few now), everyone I pass in the hall, when I enter the nurses station I say “morning everyone!” whether anyone answers or not, lol. Be your own sun 🌞
Apparently, there’s a trick to knowing when it’s okay to talk. And it’s all in the feet. “When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay attention to their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and not their feet, it means they are in the middle of an important conversation and they don’t want you to interrupt them,” reveals the site.
On the flipside, if they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is extremely important, adds Higher Existence, because the right timing in such situations may put you in a position of advantage, especially if the conversation was boring for both sides.
When someone has a really terrible idea that you know will fall flat, don’t tell them it’s a bad idea. It puts them on the defensive. Ask questions you know they haven’t thought through and let them think them through. Nine times out of ten, they’ll get to “this is actually a bad idea” on their own but they get to make that call. In the process, you’ve built trust in the relationship.
Ever been deep in telling a story but you have a feeling the other person isn’t listening? Instead of asking them outright, fold your arms. “If the other person is observing you and pays attention, they will most likely mimic you,” reveals the Higher Existence site.
If you want to vent about frustrating coworkers, only do it with your very few VERY trusted friends, and it doesn’t hurt to remind them every time “this stays between us” – but absolutely continously praise people behind their backs, a lot, when someone does something you admire or appreciate, tell them but also sing their praises to others.
If someone is trying to pick on you, intimidate you, dead pan stare at them. Face them fully, say nothing.
If it DOES warrant a response, flatly & calmly tell them in some words, how brave/bold of a move this is, for them to say/act this way.
If you can master making your pupils dilate on command. Pupil Dilation is seen as either desire, or primal attack mode.
You’re wanting to convey the later. They’ll back tf off real quick. You can’t appear nervous. Watch your body language.
One social cheat code I’ve learned just by observing people is that the calmest person in the room often holds the most power like when you don’t rush to react, when you stay composed and grounded even in chaos people naturally start to respect and gravitate toward you 👌🏼
Today’s lesson was
I said when are we going to get together? Their response simply “ I don’t know. “
Clearly I’m not any priority in that persons life. Hard lesson. Emotional intelligence sometimes is It’s all in what they don’t say! I’m fine, we are clearly on two different paths. Friendships change over time. We change and grow at different rates. Know to hear and read the signs. Walk away with dignity
People find delight in someone when there is a fun, quirky, memorable thing about them. For instance, my friend loves Phase 10. Anytime I see phase 10, I think of her. It also makes it easy to tease her about something in a non-bullying way. If you want to win someone over, have something cutely quirky about you
Be positive.
Most communication is non-verbal. You know how you get home at the day and you can tell your dog is thrilled to see you without them needing to put it into words? Whenever you interact with people, take a beat to think to yourself “how awesome is it that I get to engage with this person? They’re so cool!”
That comes across, and as long as you have a modicum of social grace, people love it.
People who are known for being mean bitches have more respect and kindness for the ones who aren’t afraid of them😆🤣🤣
Idc how mean you are, I’m not scared of anyone. Is someone gonna beat me up? No. I might even giggle, because why tf you being this evil?
Make art with people. The people you will have the most genuine relationships with will be people who share your aesthetics. Art is something you can do with people that doesn’t involve money, power, or consumption.
When people, mostly men, make suggestive “jokes”, reply with “I don’t get it. Can you explain it to me?”
The only thing to say to cops:
Yes sir
No sir
On my way home sir
Works every time, but to be fair, I am white. This didn’t always work with my First Nations friends.
Generally avoid at all costs….in particular the problematic ones who like to tell you what you’re thinking/feeling and what you should or shouldn’t be thinking/doing etc.
Silence makes people uncomfortable.
Most people rush to fill awkward silences by oversharing.
Stay quiet.
Let them talk.
People reveal their insecurities when you don’t interrupt.
You’ll learn more by saying less.
Control the tempo of a conversation with your pauses.
Silence is dominance in disguise.
Master this and you’ll own every room you walk into.
People respond best when they feel seen. Not just noticed, truly seen. That subtle shift in how you ask a question, how you mirror their tone, or how you acknowledge something small they shared weeks ago… it’s pure magic. 💚✨😊
Watch and observe before speaking to people you don’t know. Start with small talk discussions.
Don’t help people who don’t ask for help. They will resent you because you didn’t fix their problem their way, or they will resent you because they didn’t ask for help.
Only SPEAK what you mean & MEAN every single word you say. Because to observant people & those who know you enough, you look real stupid uttering empty words.
Not to mention, your credibility and their respect for you as a person goes down to the bottomless abyss immediately 😅
The worst part? once someone catches you doing it, you better believe EVERYONE around you will know.
Manipulation works without them noticing if you manipulate them with factual truth instead of lying. Pointing out things that are true usually gets me my way.
A lot of people fall into different energy types and categories and interests. A lot of incompatible relationships and friendships happen because you try to pair apples with oranges. The best way to avoid conflict and issues is sometimes to assess a situation more clearly rather than just befriending or dating anyone that seems cool on paper.
People have something they want to talk about that nobody gives them the time for
People will consider you an angel if you can release them from some shame for at least the moment
People quickly bond over a common enemy and are likely petty c*nts.
Many crave control, create that illusion
oh heres a tip some people don’t get. often at work some are sycophantic to the boss or ahole not because they like or respect them but because they have to for survival , bc they are an ahole nutball
Keep some thoughts inside and keep your face neutral.
f you don’t engage when provoked, antagonizers will fight the air.
If you engage, everyone sees two clowns performing.
The ones you hear talking about other ppl….you can’t trust them. The ones who never talk about others are the good guys.
Most people don’t want to hear the truth, even if they ask you. Unless you know them well enough to know they will not crumble hearing an unpleasant truth, keep your mouth shut.🤐 And yes, I am neurodivergent asf & have learned this the very hard way.🤦🏽♀️
Somewhat relaxed body language in a position of power showcases comfort and works really well one-on-one
Smiling, greeting, and a firm handshake can gain you a lot of opportunities. Even stuff you’re not even really qualified for lol
If you’re shy and can’t make eye contact, look at their t zone forehead area. It’ll look like you’re making eye contact
When you want to encourage someone to share more about what they said but they for some reason seem a bit defensive or closed off, I find asking “oh, how come?” is more inviting than asking “why?”
A little recognition goes a long way. Long term employees are often super valuable but completely overlooked and even feel invisible. Notice them and their contributions and they will be on your side
That there is always someone in any organization who can say yes. You need to see who either has the authority or gives no Fs
Offer nothing at first other than friendship if they’re genuine they’ll stick around if not they’ll move on
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